Are you the type of person who used to confront people whom
you find gossiping about you? Or have you ever experienced being in a situation
wherein you easily pissed off on someone? Admit it or not, most people
experienced this scenario at least once in their lives. However, what if you
noticed that you tend to overreact over small things than the usual? You may
not know yet but you might be experiencing situations that needed you to focus
more on the things that can keep you calm rather on things that might make you lose
your temper.
Here are the tips to help you deal with temper issues and manage to confront people more effectively.
1. Stop, think and back off- whenever a person loses his or
her own temper, they tend to scream at the top of their lungs. The outcome is
that no point has been said effectively since no word can get in to their screams.
What you need to do is take a moment and think whether that person you are
having a fight with is really worth your effort and energy getting upset over. Do
not fight back or shut down in the same manner as the person screaming at you.
Rather, wait for him or her to cool down or much better, remove yourself from
the situation before you do something you might regret in the future. This
might sound a bit hard to do at first. But rest assured that it will be much
easier for you to calm down and communicate with the person effectively if you
try this simple step of stop, think and back off.
2. Give yourself a “me time”- spending time alone when you
are experiencing temper issues helps you rethink the situation more
effectively. Most of the time, angry people are just hurt people. In order to
calm you down, give yourself some moment to spend alone. You may try listening
to your favorite music, going for a run, calling a friend or even crying it out
loud.
3. Articulate your thoughts clearly- in order for the offending
party to hear and understand your point, it is important to collect your
thoughts and articulate it as clearly as possible. Most of the time, the most
effective way for you to easily understand by your peers is to make them see
your softer side and make them understand why you’re hurt. This will help them
realized what they've done wrong and eventually ask for reconciliation.
Tip: Use “I” statements during
confrontation. This will enable you to reach out to the opposing party what you
really feel about the situation. For instance, instead of saying “You are a
total crap for getting these people without my permission”, try using
statements like “I feel disrespected for inviting people over the house without
discussing it with me first”. Your statement can solve or even worsen the
scenario.
4. Forgive, try to forget and move forward- there is a saying that it is
much easier to forgive than to forget. If you still can’t afford to forgive the
person who wronged you, realized that it won’t help if we harbor hatred in our
heart. So the most effective way to move forward is to forgive the person.
Especially if you feel that the person has genuinely apologized, forgive him or
her and move on with your life.
Being in a situation where you
are caught confronting your peers can make or break your relationship with them
or even with other people. Learning how to deal with temper issues the right way is essential to help you know yourself
better and be a better person in the future. Once you learn these techniques,
it will be much easier for you to express your feelings well without making any
confrontational fights with anyone.
